Jacob
“Fuck Heather! You’re fired!” I’m pacing around my large office
rubbing my face with my hands and trying to calm down. I hear her whimpering
behind me and I tune her out. I look out
the window and see the harbor to try and find solace and peace. The light waves
are flowing through the crystal blue waters and some boats are sailing by. The
March skies are clear and the sun is out, it’s oddly warm today. Watching the
outside world helps me relax when I feel as if I’m about to explode. I breathe
in through my nose and out through my mouth. I feel hands on my shoulder and I
turn around to see Katherine smiling at me.
“Jacob, be nice.”
Before I can say anything, she disappears.
Okay
Katherine, I’ll try to relax. I can be a better person.
I try to calm down but she’s nearly cost me a five million dollar
deal!
“Bu-bu-but Mr. Greene, I told you about that conference months ago!
I sent a reminder to your cell phone and I texted you the information. I’m
sorry.”
I take a deep breath and look at her. Why the fuck is she crying? I
don’t do tears. I hate when women cry. What’s the point of crying? It doesn’t
solve anything and makes the situation worse because it shows your guilt and
you’re admitting you did something wrong. Her eyes are frantic and her body is
shaking. I want to tell her to stop looking to try and show that she didn’t do
anything wrong but I’ve already hurt her feelings and my mind is made up. I
know I’m being harsh and I should be more understanding but that’s not how life
works. It’s not all sunshine and roses. Life’s a bitch and you either have to
go with it or it will swallow you whole.
People think I’m heartless but I don’t have time to babysit. I’m
running a multimillion-dollar empire and always need to be on point. There’s no
such thing as mistakes and any mistakes that are made shows, to me, your lack
of care and dedication. Yes, I have high expectations but success is my only
goal. Success is the only thing I know.
My little brother, Logan, and I have been running Greene Publishing
for two years. We’ve been successful since day one and I want to keep it that
way. Logan is the brains of the operation while I go out and attract potential
clients. Our clients are bestselling authors and we are always striving to
ensure they are being represented in the best light and are highly promoted.
Yes, I’m an asshole but I have a business to run. I need competent and hard
working people on my team.
When I turn back around, I see her shaking and I really feel like
an asshole but I need someone who can take my shit. “Heather, please stop.” I
come around my desk and lean against it. I try and calm my tone. She’s a great
assistant. She’s been my personal assistant for the past two months. I like her
drive and motivation. This is the first time she’s made an error, but I don’t
want her, or any of my other employees for that matter, to think this error is
okay. I wish I can give her another chance but I can’t afford these screw-ups.
What will it be next time? She’s young and I thought I could hone her into the
way I need her to be, but that failed. The emotions need to go! “You don’t want
to work for me. Look at you.” I place my hands on my desk and look at her. “I
need someone who can fight back and won’t cry when they hear my voice.” I
pause. The fear and panic in her brown eyes draw out a little guilt in me. “Pack
up your things and I’ll make sure you’ll be taken care of for the next few
months.” I turn to my computer and open up my emails.
“I’m sorry Mr. Greene. I just want you to know...” She pauses and
takes in a breath. “I just want you to know I did my best with you. I hope you
find the person you need.” Heather gets up and slowly walks out of my office. I
pull my hands through my hair and lean back in my chair. “Fuck,” I mutter.
“What the hell am I suppose to do now?” I just fired my personal assistant. I
can’t keep my shit together on my own.
I look at the picture on my desk and I feel myself ready to break
down. I pick up the picture frame and touch her face. My eyes scan the picture,
trying to find reason and answering the questions in my head. Why isn’t she
here with me?
Katherine.
It’s almost been three years since I lost my heart and I’m still
fighting the pain and brokenness that’s inside of me.
My life was turned upside down when I lost Katherine that heart
breaking night. When I buried Katherine, my heart went along with her. Life
didn’t have meaning and it wasn’t worth it. I didn’t know who I was without
Katherine and everyone looked faceless to me. My family was there to help but I
shut everyone out because I didn’t care. I drowned myself in work, alcohol and
women but then Katherine started showing up last year and slowly I’m getting
better but I still felt heartless.
Those
emerald eyes. That
beautiful smile and her beautiful soul.
“Katherine I miss you every day. I wish you were still here with
me.” I put down the picture and drop my head. There’s not a day that goes by
when she doesn’t cross my mind. My life is empty and it’s hard to find true
meaning. It’s hard to believe that she’s gone and the saying that time heals
all wounds is bullshit. She’s still the last person on my mind before I go to
bed and the first on my mind when I wake up.
Her family still won’t talk to me. They blame me for everything. In
their eyes, I’m the reason why Katherine isn’t here. Her older brother, Ryan,
even threatened to kill me if he ever saw me again.
I have all the money in the world but the emptiness I feel keeps me
awake at night. All the women I’ve been with cannot fill the void and numbness
I feel. I’m sick of the emotionless sex and vain women who only want me to
promote themselves in the business of beauty and fame. I fuck them when they
come to town. Treat them to dinner. Spoil them with jewelry and shopping. They
all want to be Mrs. Greene and try their hardest to move into my life.
Permanently. But no one compares to
Katherine; no one can ever take her place. No, no one will be able to take her
place because in my heart she’s still here. I’ll never love anyone the way I
love Katherine.
I run my hands through my hair and try to refocus. I turn back to
my computer and open up the messaging system.
Me: Get
in my office now.
Logan:
Yes captain.
I take out my phone and look through my business contacts I can
call to see if anyone has someone available for me but I don’t want to explain
myself so I put away my phone and wait for Logan to come into my office. This
is what I get for letting my fucking temper take over. I can’t win and anger management
classes are pointless. Once a week I go to these classes and sit there to talk
about feelings and ways to better manage people. Please someone blow me. It’s a
waste of time, but Mother insists to be a people person I need to attend these
meetings. How can I talk about my feelings and emotions when I don’t have
feelings? I hate talking. I hate people. If the conversation isn’t going to make me
millions then I don’t care. There are only a few people I can trust in this
world-my family. I do have a heart
for them and I love what they have sacrificed for Logan and me.
Logan steps in my office and sits down. His brown hair, green eyes
and boyish charm used to make the ladies swoon but he only has eyes for one
woman now - Hayden, my lovely sister-in-law.
There used to be a different woman on his arm every day. I think
some women even proposed to him. But when he met Hayden, she showed him a new
world that broke everything inside of him. She helped calm my ex playboy little
brother. Hayden took him by storm and we all love her. She and I instantly
connected. I told her all about Katherine and how I felt. She has tried to set
me up on dates but when I looked at these women, I realized they were not
Katherine and lost all interest before getting to know them. I’m sure they were
wonderful women but I wasn’t ready to move on and I wasn’t sure when I’d be
able to.
I turn and look at Logan. He rests his foot on his knee and makes
himself comfortable on my sofa. I see him smirking at me while playing with his
tie. “What’d you do now, big brother?”
I run my hand through my wavy brown hair and squeeze the space
between my eyes. This is going to be bad. Mother is going to have a conniption.
She loves Heather. “I let Heather go,” I mumble.
Logan lets out a thunderous laugh. “You cannot keep firing your
assistants! That’s what, six already? Man, stop being a jerk.”
He’s right. I need to stop being a jerk and give people a chance
but when you do that, you get taken advantage of and people are greedy little
shits. “I don’t need this right now Logan. Get me someone!”
Logan leans forward. I know what he’s going to say. I don’t have
time to listen to his advice. “When are you going to trust someone?”
“I trust people.” I turn back to my computer to avoid Logan’s
stare. My family wants the best for me. I get that. But this is what I know.
“Will you please find me someone? I would appreciate that.”
Logan looks at me with worry in his eyes. “I know I joke around a
lot but are you okay Jacob?”
I look down at my keyboard. Am I okay? I don’t think I’ll ever be
okay. “It’s almost been three years since I’ve lost her. I don’t know what I’m
doing anymore, Logan.”
I hear Logan getting up and walking towards me. The tears come
back. I don’t think I can ever let her go. “Jacob, you need to stop beating
yourself up. It was an accident. I know you miss her. We all do. But when are
you going to start living again?” I don’t respond because I have no idea how to
live my life anymore. It’s work Monday through Saturday and on Sunday I spend
the day with my family. “Why don’t you and Mila spend the day together on
Friday? Friday she has a half-day at preschool and I’m sure she’ll love to
spend time with her Uncle Jacob. Hayden already has you on the allowed list to
pick her up. She’s been asking about you.”
My adorable, blonde hair, green-eyed niece Mila is the light of my life.
When she was born four years ago she became the reason why I get out of bed.
She’s the only girl in my life. “I’d like that Logan, thank you.”
He pats my shoulder before heading out of my office so I get some
more work done. I respond to a few emails but my mind goes back to Katherine
and how I wish she were here.
By the time six o’clock comes around, I shut off my computer,
gather up my things and head out of the office. Gary, my driver, is waiting for
me outside.
“Evening Mr. Greene,” he
says when opening the car door for me.
“Thanks Gary.” I get in the car when my cell phone starts ringing.
I look at who is calling.
Audrina.
Supermodel. Sexy. Long blonde hair. Deep chestnut colored eyes.
“Hello, Audrina. To what do I owe this surprise?”
“Jacob,” she seductively replies. “I’m coming to town tomorrow.
Usual spot?”
I close my eyes and lean my head back. Damn.
The last time we were together I fucked her. Hard. We were in her
hotel room all night. A night full of hot fucking. I fucked her in every
position imaginable. I loved her riding my cock. She knew what she was doing.
Hearing her scream my name made me come hard and fast. I remembered her
luscious lips around my dick. She sucked me and put it all the way in the back
of her throat.
“Tomorrow night. Eight o’clock.” I hang up the phone before she can
respond. I need a release. It’s been nearly three weeks since being with a
woman.
Gary pulls into the garage and parks the SUV next to my black Audi.
He comes around and opens the door for me. “Gary, take the rest of the night
off. I’ll be in for the evening.”
“Sounds good, Mr. Greene. Call me if you need anything.”
We shake hands. “Will do. Have a nice evening.”
I go into my building and get in the elevator. I press the PH
button and wait while the elevator travels up to my floor. I start taking off
my green tie and unbuttoning my gray shirt.
Ding.
The doors open and I walk straight to my loft. When I open the
door, a delicious smell hits my face. “Madison?” I put my briefcase down and
take off my suit jacket. “Madison, are you here?”
I go into the kitchen and there is my best friend at the stove,
pulling out a pizza. She turns her head my way and smiles. “Hey, you. I thought
I’d come over and make you dinner.”
I walk to her and kiss her on the cheek. “Thanks, Madison, I
appreciate it, but don’t you have a date or something tonight?”
Madison puts down the pizza and leans against the counter. “Had a date. I found out the asshole is
married and wanted me to be his dirty little secret. Please!”
I start laughing as I walk to the fridge. “Beer?”
“Please.”
Madison has been there for me since I lost Katherine. We met in
college in a business class. It was an instant connection with her but nothing
romantic ever happened. I saw her as my best friend and she was there for me
whenever I needed her. I don’t know where I’d be without her. Everyone joked
around that she liked me but I didn’t see it. She was a great friend who made
sure I was okay.
She’s beautiful and every man’s dream. Long brown hair, hazel eyes,
lean and curvy, but it’s not there for me; she isn’t Katherine.
Madison sets up plates on the kitchen table while I sit down and
take a swig of my beer. “Thanks again for doing this. I didn’t get a chance to
eat dinner.”
She serves me two slices of pizza before sitting down. “No problem,
best friend. How’s everything going?”
I take another drink before answering her. “I fired Heather. It’s
been almost three years since Katherine. So how do you think everything is
going?”
Madison moves closer to me and throws her arms around my neck. “I’m
sorry Jacob, but you might want to think about moving on with your life.
Katherine would want you to be happy.”
We sit there for the rest of the night as I listen to her talk
about her job and what she’s been up to. I can’t think about anything else but
what she said. How can I just move on? Would Katherine want me to be happy?
I walk Madison out and she tells me to text her anytime if I need
anything. I give her a kiss on her cheek and walk away. When I get back inside,
I take a long hot shower and think about what’s been going on. I should move
on. It’s been three years but something keeps holding me back - my guilt and
fears. I don’t want to bring anyone else down. I don’t want to hurt anyone
else.
I get out of the shower and get ready for bed. I throw on my blue
boxers and slide under the covers. Eleven eighteen. I close my eyes and fall
asleep.
“Jacob,
why didn’t you save me?” The tears roll down from her pale cheeks as she tries
to grab my hand.
“Katherine,
wait please! I’m sorry!” The fog sets in front of us. I can’t see her. I can’t
see anything. I wave my hands in the air to move the fog but it doesn’t work.
“Katherine! Please come back!”
I quickly sit up and look around the room. There’s no one here
except for me. I look at the clock on my nightstand and see that it only reads
two forty-five a.m. I rub my eyes and lay back down but I can’t fall back
asleep. This is how it is every night. The same dream comes to me and each time
it ends the same; I can never save her. I get out of bed and head to the
closet. I pull out a photo album and look through the pictures of how life
should have been.
Her
smile.
That smile still makes my heart beat faster. How am I supposed to
live without her? I put the album away, walk back to bed, and turn on the
television and try to fall back asleep.
*****
Eight o’clock. She comes through the doors of Tavern Seven. She is wearing a tight, plunging neckline red dress.
I get up and walk to her. My lips touch her cheek, “Audrina.”
“Hello Jacob,” she purrs, “You look delicious tonight.”
“As do you. Come sit.” I place my hand on the small part of her
back and guide her to my table. It’s in the corner of the restaurant so no one
will bother us. I take a drink of my scotch as she strokes my thigh.
“I miss you,” Audrina
whispers in my ear, “I can’t wait for tonight.”
I immediately finish my drink, leave a fifty on the table and take
her hand. “Let’s go.”
Gary sees me coming and gets out opening the car door for us. I
lead Audrina in and move in after her. She runs her hand through my hair and
rests her other hand on my thigh. A seductive smile comes across her face as
she licks her bottom lip and comes closer to me. Her lips graze my ear down my
neck. I want her but never have been one to fuck in the back seat of my car yet
tonight may be an exception. Gary knows where to take me. He puts in his ear
buds and starts driving. Without saying anything Audrina gets on the carpeted
floor and pushes my legs apart. Her hands are on my belt and pants. She takes
off the belt and unbuttons my pants. I put my hands behind my head and let her
do whatever the fuck she wants to me. One hand is pulling down my pants and boxers
while the other is stroking my long erection. She grabs me with both of her
hands and slowly wraps her succulent lips around my hard member and twirls her
tongue around the head. The moans of pleasure coming from her lips get me
harder. She pulls me towards her and lodges my cock deep in her throat. A
guttural groan escapes my throat, “Fuck Audrina.” I push her head down further
and make her take me all the way in. Damn her mouth feels good on me. I push
her off me and she looks at me with confusion. My fingers are gripping her chin
and I force her to look at me. “I want you to beg me. Tell me you want my dick
in your mouth. Tell me I’m the best.”
Audrina’s eyes grow wide and pools with desire. “You’re the best
Jacob. I. Only. Want. You.” She opens her mouth again and takes me in. Within
seconds I explode in her mouth. She swallows everything I release, licking me
clean. “I hope I can always make you happy.” I help her up from her knees and
smile.
“Of course.” I straighten my clothes and pull out my cell phone to
check my messages. I see her from the corner of my eyes and she’s staring at
me. “Can I help you with something?” I ask with irritation and annoyance in my
tone.
She simply shakes her head and looks out the window. I notice the
uncomfortable silence and it’s beginning to bother me but I don’t think too
much about it. I ignore her for the rest of the ride.
Gary pulls up to the Hilton where Audrina is staying. We
immediately take the elevator to the top floor Presidential suite. The room is
rather large with a rich wood décor living area, a dining room table, a private
office and a wet bar. The windows provide a fabulous view of Columbia’s
Historic District.
I walk to the wet bar and pour myself a glass of scotch. I bring
the glass to my lips and in one gulp finish my drink. I close my eyes and feel
nothing. I pour myself another glass, repeating this process four times.
“Jacob.” I turn around and see Audrina in nothing but a lacey black
bra and lace black panties. Her body is fucking phenomenal. Her perky breasts
are calling out to my mouth. I look her over from her face down to her black
stilettos. “I’m ready for you.” She gives me her sexy grin. I place the glass
down and stroll over to her.
“You better be ready tonight.” I grab Audrina and toss her on the
couch, standing in front of her, “Go ahead. Take off my clothes. Now!” I say
with a forceful yet sexy demand.
Quickly, my pants and boxers come off. Just before she can touch me
again, I grab her hands. “Lean back.” I force her back against the sofa. I take
off my shirt and toss it aside. She’s ready for me. Her legs spread and I rip
her panties off. “You don’t need this,” I say. I kiss her inner thighs tenderly
and make my way to her juiciness. My greedy tongue licks her wetness. I twirl
it around her clit as I plunged my tongue into her.
I immediately stop what I’m doing and bring my head up to look at
her. “Stop. Moving.”
She gives me a nod and I prop each of her legs up on my shoulders.
I insert two fingers into her and my possessive tongue glides against her soft
skin. I spread her legs wider and play with her clit with my skillful tongue.
“Jacob. Oh my God, keep going. Yes! Yes!” I stop licking her. “What
are you doing?”
“Shhhh,” I flip her over and slap her ass a few times. I know she
loves what I’m doing from hearing her moans. Audrina spreads her legs for me
and I lift her ass is in the air.
“You know what I like Jacob,” she states, “Please Jacob, I’m
begging you.”
I pull her ass to me and penetrate deep in her beautiful ass. God
she is so tight. I go in faster and hear her screaming my name. She’s telling
me to go harder and faster. I do what she says, “Fuck Audrina!”
“Keep going!” Her breathing is all over and her moans are loud.
I grip her ass and pump myself in her. The excitement she is
showing gets me going and my throbbing cock is ready to explode. A few more
thrusts and I spill myself in her. I gently pull myself out of her and head to
the bathroom. I grab a washcloth and turn on the faucet. I let the water soak
the washcloth and look into the mirror. I look at the man standing before me
and cringe with regret and sorrow. I don’t want to continue this life and the
meaningless sex. I get myself clean and
wash my hands. When I come out, I see her picking up my clothes and setting
them aside.
She walks over to me and wraps her arms around my waist. “Are you
going to spend the night with me?” Her voice is hopeful and she kisses my bare
chest.
I grab her arms and untangle them from my waist. “No,” I simply
respond. I see the disappointment in her eyes and I have to look away from her.
Why is she falling for me? I have an ugly heart and soul. The coldness takes
over my body and the tension rises. No one can ever love a beast of a man and I
don’t know how to love anymore. How can I love another person when I can’t love
myself?
I get my clothes and start putting on my pants and shirt. Just as I
am about to button my shirt, Audrina comes to me and pushes my hands away.
“Here, let me.” She finishes buttoning my shirt and looks at me. “Jacob,” she
starts to say, “When are you going to open your eyes?”
I take her hands and place my finger under her chin. There are
tears in her eyes. Fuck. Again? “Audrina, you know I can’t love you. I can’t
give you my heart. I can shower you with gifts. Have you travel the world. Help
you with your career but that’s it.” I give her a kiss on her forehead and head
out of her hotel room without feeling anything but regret.
Teach Me Love
Copyright © 2013 by S.
Moose
.jpg)
